Monday, December 10, 2007

Dumpy, dumpy, dumpy...

Miss Molly sums it up when she says Not ____ Enough. There's a reason we're soul mates.

I've been feeling really, really lousy. Lots of stress. I feel completely inadequate the vast majority of the time. Not enough money, not enough time, not enough love, not enough anything. I'm not funny enough, smart enough, nice enough, pretty enough, caring enough, something enough every minute of the day it seems.

I feel like the butt of the joke these days. Ain't it grand.

The Boy has a serious case of the gimmes, too, which really makes it hard. I want him to believe in the magic of Christmas, I want it to be a great time for him, but he's gotten greedy. Which makes me mean. And I don't like that.

His first appointment with the specialist is Thursday. Is it okay for me to be absolutely terrified? They're going to put my Boy, my baby, baby Boy to sleep. They're going to cut into him. And yeah, he'll be fine. I know that in my gut. But it's my BOY.

Anyhow, I'm looking into a new job tomorrow. A recruiter emailed me the job description today, and quite frankly it'd be perfect. Hubs could keep his job, we could move and make it work. It'd be a great change, more money, probably a happier life for all of us. Which means I won't even get an interview.

Yeah, I'm a bucket of laughs these days.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ain't it grand, indeed. Right there with you, as you know.

I'm saying big prayers for the boy that it's nothing serious.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you've been down. For what it's worth, I think you are wonderful. I'm thinking of you and the Boy

Steph said...

You, my dear, are a beautiful, smart, funny, wonderful woman who I am proud to call friend. Despite our want to, we cannot be all things to all people.

I will keep the Boy in my prayers. Liv has had 2 surgeries and even though I knew she'd be ok, I was a mess. Im sure that it will all go well.

Marty, a.k.a. canape said...

Sending good vibes for the Boy and for the interview.

Believe in yourself.

Jenn said...

LA you are an Awesome lady. I'll be thinking of you guys tomorrow. {{{HUGS}}}

Linda said...

You my dear are absolutely amazing and wonderful in my eyes. You always make me smile and laugh. You have capabilities beyond your knowledge, remember you can do anything.